Brothers in a Blizzard
by Raphs No.1 Girl
Summary: Mikey and Raph are caught in a blizzard, unable to find their way home. If you know me, you know that there will be no happy ending, and tragedy will ensue. Inspired by the recent snow in my area, and a movie I saw on TV.
1. Part 1

**_Hi everyone, did you miss me? ;D_**

**_I know I promised an update of Secret Weapon - that is coming very soon. I did have the next chapter fully typed, and was doing the final edits, when my computer crashed, and the file was lost. :'( So, I am having to start over._**

**_Anyway, this is just a little story, inspired by the snow that ground the UK to a halt last week, and also by something that happened in a movie I saw recently._**

**_It's not my best work ever, and the plot is rather crappy and very unrealistic, but it lets you know that I'm still alive. lol ;D_**

**_DISCLAIMER: I don't own TMNT, or the related characters. I do, however, own the news reporter, Jonathan Banes (as if thats something to be proud of)._**

**_

* * *

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It was freezing cold. The blizzard had started suddenly, and within minutes it had already begun to lay. By now the snow was several feet deep in places, and the swirling snow made it impossible to see more than a foot in front of you.

Raph and Mikey had been out in Central Park training when suddenly the snow storm was upon them. They had attempted to find their way out of the park, but the terrible visibility prevented them from seeing anything, and the swirling wind and icy chill confused their senses.

"Raph, its s-so c-c-cold," Mikey whined through chattering teeth. "I t-told you w-we should have gone h-home hours ago."

"I -I know, M-Mikey," Raph responded, struggling to keep his own voice from showing how cold he was too, "But we - we g-gotta keep go-going. Just a l-little farther, o-okay?" He put his arm round his younger brother, both to guide him and try to warm him a little.

"Okay, Raph."

They had been walking for a long time now, and still hadn't come across a place to shelter in. Raph felt Mikey beginning to shiver more violently, and felt his own body temperature dropping. He looked around desperately, but all he could see was a white sheet in front of him, and snowflakes flying into his face.

Just then, Mikey tripped on something.

"Mikey, are y-ya alright, b-bro?" Raph asked, helping him up.

"Y-yeah, I-I'm okay. I t-tripped on s-s-something."

Raph knelt down and felt around, trying to work out exactly what the 'something' was. Before too long, Raph had ascertained that Mikey had tripped on a large protruding tree root, and that the trunk of this giant tree had a small recess in it.

"Mikey, I t-think I've just f-found a shelter fer us. W-wait right there."

His hands almost numb with cold, Raph dug the snow and some dead leaves from the recess, and tried to burrow a little deeper into the ground to make the alcove bigger, but the ground was frozen solid. Still, it would provide some shelter, and was better than nothing.

He grabbed Mikey's hand and pulled him down to the floor.

"G-get in here, M-Mikey. It'll b-be a bit w-warmer."

Mikey did not argue, but simply climbed into the makeshift shelter. Raph used some of the dead leaves to cover him, though he doubted it made much difference. Mikey was still shivering, and Raph could tell he was getting sleepy.

"Bring y-yer knees up to y-yer chest. An' yer've g-gotta s-stay awake, g-got it?"

Mikey nodded, and did as he was told. The shelter was not big enough for Raph to get in as well, so he sat in the entrance way, his shell facing outwards. He hoped this would help stop some of the cold wind blowing in, though of course it only made him feel colder. Mikey soon noticed this.

"R-Raph, y-you must be f-freezing, dude."

"I-I'll be a-alright."

"N-no y-you w-won't. M-maybe we should move c-closer t-together, t-to share b-body heat."

"Y-ya l-learn that on T-TV?" Raph tried to laugh a little, as Mikey shuffled over a little and pulled Raph closer to him.

"Uh-huh. And I t-think D-Donny mentioned it o-once." Raph wrapped his arms around his younger brother, trying to stop him shivering.

"R-Raphie, I'm so tired."

"I know. B-but we g-gotta stay awake. W-we j-just gotta."

"D-do ya t-think they'll come l-lookin' for us?"

"C-course they will, Mikey. A-an' they'll f-find us."

"Are w-we g-gonna die?"

"D-don't be stu-stupid, 'course we're not! I-I'm not gonna l-let that ha-happen."

"P-promise?"

"I promise."

* * *

"Raph and Mikey should've been back hours ago, where the shell are they?" Leo was pacing the living room. At first, he had been annoyed, and had been prepared with a lecture for them as soon as they got back, but now he was starting to feel worried.

"I'm sure they're fine, Leo. Here, have some tea." Donny passed him a mug, which Leo accepted gratefully. "And I turned the heating up, it's freezing in here."

"Indeed it is, my son," remarked Master Splinter, as he shuffled towards the sofa. He pressed the power button on the remote control, and the TV screen came to life.

"We have interrupted our usual broadcast for this special news report", a TV news reporter was saying as the TV came on. "New York citizens are being urged to stay indoors with the heating on, and to avoid venturing outside wherever possible, until advised otherwise. The city has been struck suddenly with what can only be described as a blizzard, with snow already several feet deep in Manhattan and the Central Park area. Power outages are expected within the next few hours, although none have been reported so far. It is hoped that the snow will have stopped by morning, although there are still likely to be major traffic disruptions. As of yet, no casualties have been reported, as it seems due to the late hour, most people were already at home when the storm started. We will keep you updated over the next few hours. This is Jonathan Banes, reporting for Channel 6 News. Goodnight." And with that, the usual TV program was resumed. Master Splinter turned the TV off, and turned to his two sons.

"My sons, where are your brothers, Raphael and Michelangelo?"

"They went out training several hours ago, sensei. They were going to Central Park."

"And where are they now, my son?"

By now, realisation had dawned on Leo, and his dark green skin had gone several shades paler.

"I'm sure they'll have gone to April's, Master, since the snow started," Donny quickly put in, not wanting the elderly rat to worry.

"Of course, my son, you are probably correct. But please could you telephone Miss O'Neill to put my mind at rest?"

Donny nodded in response, and quickly dialled April on his shell-cell.

"Hello?"

"Hi April, it's me."

"Oh hi, Donny. Have you seen the weather outside? There's snow everywhere!"

"Uh, yeah - that is, we've just seen a news report about it on TV."

"So, what's up?"

"Well, I was just wondering if Raph and Mikey are with you?"

"No, I haven't seen either of them. I assumed they were at home, with you guys."

"I, uh, I see."

"Why? Where are they?"

"Well, uh, they went out training in Central Park awhile ago, and - er - they haven't come back yet."

"Surely they're not out in this? They must have found shelter somewhere."

"I hope so, April."

"Have you tried calling them?"

"No point - Raph's shell-cell is waiting to be repaired in my lab, and Mikey forgot his."

"Well, keep me posted, okay?"

"Will do. Bye." He disconnected the call, and looked at his elder brother and sensei in concern.

"They weren't there," Leo stated, having already gathered the answer from what he heard of the phone call. Donny shook his head slowly.

"My sons, put on your warm clothing. We are going out to look for your brothers. I believe we should start with Central Park."

* * *

"M-Mikey, y-you s-still with me, b-bro?"

"Y-yeah, Raph."

"I-I just w-wanna s-say s-sorry fer gettin' us in-into this mess."

"It's o-okay."

"N-no, it i-isn't! Y-ya neva w-wanted to c-come out training in the f-f-first p-place. An' y-ya wanted t-ta go h-home hours be-before the s-s-snow started."

"I d-d-don't b-blame you, Raph. S-so l-let's n-not m-mention it again, 'k-kay?"

Raph just nodded, and hugged Mikey closer to his plastron, trying to will what little body heat he had left into Mikey.

"T-thanks, R-Raphie," Mikey whispered faintly.

"F-fer w-what?"

"F-f-for k-keeping me w-warm."

Raph felt tears prick his eyes - he had gotten them into this situation, and now Mikey was _thanking _him?! He felt his eyelids growing heavy, and knew Mikey would be feeling the same. He tried to keep his eyes open, but exhaustion overcame him, and he fell asleep.

* * *

"Mikey! Raph!" Leo and Donny called, as they searched Central Park for their missing brothers. Master Splinter was waiting in the Battle Shell. The snow was still falling, although now only a little, nothing compared to the storm that had been blowing just a short while ago. But searching such a huge park was no easy task, especially when everything was covered in snow, which made it difficult to work out exactly where you were, and if you were going in the right direction. "Raph! Mikey!"

Still no answer, but the two turtles were not going to give up.

* * *

Raph suddenly jerked awake. He thought he had heard someone calling his name, but all was silent.

"I must have dreamt it," Raph thought to himself. He then realised that he had fallen asleep, which meant that he allowed Mikey to go to sleep too.

"Mikey. Mikey, wake up!" He shook his brother gently at first, but when there was no response, he shook him harder. "Mikey, this is no time ta play around! Mikey!" But the orange-masked turtle did not respond, he just felt like a cold dead-weight against Raph's plastron, no longer even shivering."No. No! No! Mikey! Don't ya dare do this ta me! Mikey!" Holding his youngest brother in his arms, Raph felt tears trickle down his cheeks, and guilt weigh heavy on his heart.

As he sat there, he felt the previously forgotten icy cold seep back into his body, and horrific feelings tearing apart his very soul. He just wanted to die. As he closed his eyes and felt himself drift into unconsciousness, he thought he heard someone call his name again. But Raph no longer cared. He felt warmth spread throughout his body, and remembered something he had heard on TV once, that just before you freeze to death, your body suddenly feels warm.

"I must be dyin'," Raph thought, just before he gave in to the darkness that wanted to swallow him up.

* * *

**_Watch out for Part 2 - coming very soon. :D_**

_**Reviews are very much appreciated. xxx**_


	2. Part 2

_**Well, here is Part 2, as promised.**_

_**In this part, there is some medical stuff. I do try to do research on all medical conditions in my fics, but since I'm not a doctor or an expert, it's likely there will be mistakes, especially in regard to treatments, so I beg forgiveness in advance for my ignorance.**_

_**Thanks to my reviewers and my readers. :D**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own TMNT. :'(**_

* * *

"Mikey! Raph! Mikey!"

"Maybe they're not here. Maybe they managed to find somewhere to shelter until the storm was over?"

"Maybe, Donny, but we've gotta check every inch of this park first, just in case."

"I know, Leo. I just - wait, what's that?"

"Where, Don?"

"Over there, by that big tree."

"I dunno, let's go check it out." The two turtles ran towards the large tree, hearts pounding, each of them both hoping and dreading they would find their brothers there.

"Oh no!" Leo was first to reach their target, and what he saw made his heart sink. Donny came up behind him and gasped. For there before them, were their missing brothers. Mikey was inside the hollow in the trunk of the tree, and Raph was partly outside it. The red-masked turtle was holding the orange-masked one in his arms, and both had their eyes closed and were motionless.

Jerking out of their shock, Leo and Donny immediately got to work. They knew their first priority was to get both of them into the warm, so Leo carefully pried Raph's arms apart, so that Donny could take Mikey. Leo then picked Raph up in his arms, despite his younger brother's large bulk, and both hurried towards where the Battle Shell was parked. A few minutes later, they reached the van.

Master Splinter quickly opened the back doors, so Mikey and Raph could be deposited inside. Donny climbed in too, while Leo went to get into the driver's seat.

As Leo started the van and set off home, Donny tended to his brothers, while Master Splinter looked on in concern, and did what little he could to help.

The heating in the Battle Shell had already been turned up to maximum, but Donny knew that wasn't enough. He piled blankets over the two inert turtles, and placed several hot water bottles around them, ensuring they were between the blankets and not touching their skin at all. Back at the Lair, they could use electric heated blankets, and some halogen heaters, but for now this would have to do.

He then went to check their vital signs. Neither appeared to have a pulse, but Donny knew this wasn't uncommon with patients suffering from severe hypothermia. Raph's breathing was shallow, so he fitted him with an oxygen mask. Mikey, however, did not appear to be breathing, which was also not uncommon in cases of severe hypothermia, so Donny immediately started CPR.

Suddenly Leo braked the van hard, and alerted them,

"We're here, let's move fast!"

Master Splinter went ahead, to try to prepare the infirmary somewhat before they arrived. Donny once again carried Mikey, while Leo took Raph. They were thankful for the elevator from the garage - getting their brothers down a manhole safely would have been very tricky.

Racing into the infirmary, the two turtles were carefully laid onto the beds, and once again covered with a multitude of blankets.

"Leo, I need you to do CPR on Mikey, while I hook them both up to the monitors, okay?"

Leo obeyed, as Donny set about connecting the multitude of wires to his brothers. As the monitors powered up, the one connected to Raph began to _bleep_ intermittently, the line showing a shallow and slow pulse rate.

Mikey's, however, was one long _bleeeeeep_, with a static straight line running across the centre of the screen. Donny took over CPR, attempting to revive his youngest brother, while Leo and Master Splinter watched from the sidelines, feeling helpless. After a couple of minutes, he looked at the monitor and stopped the compressions. He pressed a button on the machine, and the continuous _bleep_ was silenced.

"Don, what the shell are you doing?! You can't be giving up?!"

"It's no use, Leo. He's gone. He was probably gone before we even got there – we were too late." Donny's voice was quiet, and thick with as yet unshed tears.

"No! This can't be happening! You've got to try again! Haven't we got one of those electric shock machines they use on television? Just do _something_!"

Donny just shook his head sadly, staring hard at the floor.

"Well I am not going to give up yet!" roared Leo, although knowing in his heart that Donny's words were true. He attempted to continue CPR himself, until he felt a furry paw on his shoulder. He stopped, but did not look at either his sensei or his purple-masked brother.

Suddenly, Raph's monitor began to sound an urgent alarm. Donny jumped at the sound, knowing he had to temporarily brush aside his sadness if he were to save his other brother.

"Leo, come over here, quickly!" But Leo did not respond, he had a glazed expression, as he stared at his baby brother's face. "Leo!" When there was still no response, Donny rushed up to Leo and slapped him hard across the face. Leo stared at Donny, eyes wide with shock.

"Look, Leo, I know you're upset, well so am I! But if we don't do something right now, we are going to lose Raph too. And I don't know about you, but I would rather not lose another brother!"

This seemed to get through to Leo. "What do you want me to do?"

"His body temperature has dropped below 32C – we need to heat him up fast. I'm going to try to warm him up internally via fluids, but I'll need to go heat them up first. Leo, I need you to keep a close eye on him. At this point, there is still a danger he could stop breathing at any moment. If this happens, I need you to start CPR straight away, just like you did with M-… just like you did before, okay?"

Leo just nodded, to show he understood. Donny took a saline bag from the medical freezer, added some glucose, and was about to head off to the kitchen, when Leo stopped him with a desperate plea,

"Donny, he is going to be alright, isn't he?"

The purple-masked turtle desperately wanted to say 'yes', but at this point he knew it would be a lie, because he honestly didn't know. Instead, he replied softly,

"I hope so, Leo. I hope so." Then he swiftly exited the room, to heat the saline.

* * *

Minutes later, Donny returned with the now warm bag of saline solution.

"How is he?"

"I thought I lost him a couple of minutes ago, but I did CPR like you said, and he's okay now."

"Well done, Leo. Hopefully once I put this IV line in, the warm saline will help warm his body from the inside."

Once the IV was in place, and the saline and glucose was gently flowing into Raph's bloodstream, Leo broke the awkward silence by asking,

"What do we do now, Don?"

"We wait," was the simple response. But Leo could not simply sit around, waiting to see if his brother lived or died, especially not with Mikey still lying just a few feet away. He looked towards his sensei, who had been silent and still all this time.

"Sensei, what should we do with –" He could not finish the question, could not bring himself to speak the youngest turtle's name. After a long pause, Master Splinter finally responded,

"We cannot leave him in here. Leonardo, help me move your brother. Besides, when Raphael awakens, I fear the harm it will do him should he see Michelangelo like this."

"Of course, sensei." And with that, Leo and Master Splinter took Mikey from the room to lay him out, leaving Donatello alone in the infirmary.

He had not taken his eyes off the monitor screen, but it was not what was on the screen that he saw. Instead, all he could think about was Mikey, and all he could see was Mikey's face before him. Mikey's once smiling, happy face, now so serious and still. And Raph's life still hung in the balance.

He couldn't believe all this was happening – surely it must be some nightmare induced by too much caffeine before bed, and he would wake up any moment to hear Raph and Mikey having a fight over some trivial matter. But as time wore on, Donny realised this was not a dream, it was all horribly real.

Suddenly, the monitor gave out a small _blip._ Donny breathed a sigh of relief as he realised that Raph's core temperature was at last going up. He went to his brother's side, and reached under the heap of blankets to grab Raph's hand.

"Come back to us, Raph, please come back."

* * *

_**Part 3 is coming very soon (right now, I'm not 100% sure if there will be a Part 4 or not)**_

_**As always, reviews are very much appreciated, so please just drop me a line, even if its an anonymous review, or just one word. :D**_


	3. Part 3

_**DISCLAIMER: I still don't own TMNT. :'(**_

They took turns staying with Raph that night, although no one could sleep a wink. All were torn up with grief over Mikey's death, and with worry for Raph, for although his body temperature was almost back to normal, Donny had warned them he was not out of the woods yet.

Leo had leafed through a medical textbook, and found a page about hypothermia, which warned that in cases of severe hypothermia, coma or even death could result. There was also a danger of pneumonia, which could also be fatal. Leo shuddered, and glanced at his red-masked sibling, who had still not shown any signs of waking. He quickly slammed the book shut and placed it back onto the bookcase, before lowering himself to the floor and attempting meditation.

It had now been a couple of days, and Raph had still not awoken. Leo, Donny and Master Splinter were all sat around the bed, anxiously watching for any change.

Finally, Leo stood up, "I'm going to make some tea. Would you like a cup, sensei?"

"No, thank you, my son. I think I will go to my chamber and meditate." The old rat got to his feet, and shuffled slowly out of the infirmary. Leo watched him go sadly – their sensei was not coping well, which was understandable. None of them were coping – they hadn't even told April and Casey yet.

As if he had read the leader's thoughts, Donny asked, "So, when do you think we should tell Casey and April?"

"I suppose as soon as possible. I'd better go call them. You want me to bring you a fresh coffee?" He glanced at the mug which was sat beside Donny; the untouched dark liquid within it had long since gone cold. Donny gave a small smile, and a slight nod. "Thanks, Leo."

Leo had just returned with the tea and coffee, and informed Donny that April and Casey were on their way over, when both jumped in surprise at a moan from Raph.

"M-Mikey!" Raph was calling weakly, although it appeared he was not fully conscious. His shouts got louder. "Don't – don't go! Mikey!" Suddenly, Raph was sitting bolt upright in the bed, his eyes wide open, although it was soon obvious that he was not seeing the infirmary before him, but instead thought he was still out in the snow.

Leo and Donny quickly went to push him back down – he put up a little resistance, but was soon lying back down, eyes closed once more. His head thrashed from side to side, as he mumbled, "I tried…I couldn't…my fault…promised…sorry." He gradually stopped thrashing, and was still and silent once more. Donny and Leo had been holding him down, but now they let go, and slowly released the breath they had not realised they were holding. Leo wiped the sweat from Raph's forehead – it felt hot to the touch. He looked at Donny questioningly, but the other turtle did not seem surprised.

"My sons, what is going on? I thought I heard Raphael's voice." Concern was evident in both Master Splinter's voice and eyes.

"You did, sensei, but he hasn't woken up yet." The old rat clearly did not understand, so Donny added the explanation,

"Raph's running a fever, he might even have pneumonia. I'll administer some antibiotics, and he should be okay."

Their sensei was about to respond when they heard April and Casey enter the Lair. "Guys?"

Leo went out to greet them, while Donny injected the medicine into Raph. He finished just as their two visitors came into the infirmary. Both had red eyes, showing evidence of the tears they had shed – obviously, Leo had told them about Mikey. Now, April's hand flew to her mouth in shock, and her tears threatened to start again, while Casey seemed to be trying to be strong and hold his own in.

"H-how is he?" April eventually asked, voice shaky.

"He…he's not doing great, but with a course of antibiotics, I think he'll be alright," Donny supplied.

"Of course. Well, is there anything you need? Anything we can do?" April tried to become business-like, knowing she had to try to be strong for the mutant family.

"I, uh…I really don't know, to be honest. I've only really left this room to try to sleep. We'll probably need groceries, but I don't know what we need. And we really don't want to put you guys out."

"Not at all, Donny – you know we are always happy to help you guys out. I'll go check the kitchen, and then we'll go to the store." And with that, she left the room, leaving Casey and Donny alone in the infirmary. Neither of them spoke, not knowing what to say to each other, leaving the room bathed in an atmosphere of heavy silence.

Both were relieved when just a few minutes later, April came back into the room with a long list of items.

"Here, Donny, would you double-check this list for me? I think I've got everything on there – coffee for you, tea for Leo and Master Splinter, junk food for Mikey -" she gasped as she realised what she had just said. Donny flinched slightly at the youngest turtle's name, but made no comment and simply took the shopping list from April's still out-stretched hand.

"It looks like you've thought of everything April," he replied quietly, after glancing over the list.

"I – I wasn't sure what to get for Raph. Any ideas?"

"Sodas, non-diet. And plenty of pizza – especially pepperoni. That's his favourite."

"Got it. Shall we go then, Casey?" The latter simply nodded in response, and followed his girlfriend out of the Lair.

It was only once they had left that it struck Donny that Casey had not uttered one word the whole time they were there – very uncharacteristic behaviour for their male human friend.

April and Casey had soon returned with the groceries, and Leo asked them if they would like to stay over, which both of them did. April cooked some dinner, but no one had much of an appetite, so much of it was wasted. The two humans volunteered for watch duty, to give the rest of the family a much needed rest.

April pulled a chair closer to the bed, and sat down. She held Raph's hand, gently stroking the back of it with her thumb. Raph's hand was calloused and rough, but it felt solid, and right now, it seemed like the only thing about him that was solid. April felt that the only thing keeping him here with them was the fact that she was holding her hand – she was scared if she let go, even for a second, that he would disappear. And the mutant family couldn't take another loss – it would destroy them all.

Caught up in her reverie, she didn't feel Raph stirring. She jumped when he spoke in a weak voice,

"I want to see him."

"Raph?"

"I want to see him."

His eyes were open, and as far as she could tell, he was fully conscious.

"Raph, its April. Do you know where you are?"

"I want to see him." Raph repeated yet again.

"Do you want me to get Donny? Or Leo? Or Casey? What about Master Splinter?" She turned to call the rest of the family, but Raph held her hand firmly, pulling her back towards him.

"I just want to see him." He was staring into her eyes intensely, both pleading and commanding all at the same time.

"I – I'm going to get the rest of the guys, okay? Stay here – don't move. I'll just be a second." And she ran out of the room, calling loudly for the others to come quickly because Raph was awake.

After she had gone, Raph slowly sat up. His head was spinning, but he pushed the feeling of nausea aside. He pulled the wires and tubes off, and shifted himself round, until his feet were touching the cold hard floor. He slowly began to put more weight on his feet, gradually pushing himself off the bed, until he was standing. His entire body shook with the effort of it. Grabbing onto a counter-top for support, he took one slow step towards the door…and then his family walked in.

"Raph! What the shell are you doing?" Leo exclaimed, catching Raph as his legs buckled beneath him. Donny dashed over to assist Leo in putting Raph back on the bed. Their red-masked sibling struggled, but the two soon managed to get him sat on it at least.

"Okay, Raph, I need you to calm down, alright?" Donny spoke softly, but firmly. "If you don't, I'll have to sedate you." Raph sighed heavily, but did as he was told.

"My son, where were you going?" Master Splinter shuffled closer and sat down in the chair beside the bed.

"I was going to see him."

"Who were you going to see, Raphael?"

"Mikey. I want to see him."

The old rat put one furry paw on Raph's arm, and replied quietly, "My son, Michelangelo passed away."

"You don't think I know that?" Raph roared, pushing his sensei's paw away. "You don't think I realised that Mikey died? I was there, remember?" Donny pulled out a syringe and filled it with the sedative, ready to inject it into Raph. Leo saw him, but quickly told Donny to wait.

"Raph, will you calm down if we take you to see Mikey?" Leo spoke softly and clearly, as if dealing with a child.

Raph nodded, "I just want to see him, Leo."

"Alright, we'll take you to him." And with that, Leo helped Raph to his feet, and exited the infirmary, with the rest of the group in tow.

_**Hopefully there'll be more soon – if anyone's interested in hearing Raph's reaction, or anything that'll happen next.**_

_**(But then again, I always say that – I am so unreliable! Lol)**_


	4. Part 4

_**Well, I finally got round to updating one of my fics. Turns out I am still alive – not sure whether my writing talent still is though. Lol.**_

_**Well, I hope you enjoy this chapter - it's a lot longer than usual, cos once I got started, I just couldn't stop!**_

_**DISCLAIMER: I still have not acquired ownership of the turtles. All I own is the entire DVD collection of the 2k3 series; TMNT 1, 2 and 3; TMNT (2007); a few action figures; a duvet set; and a Raphael hotwater-bottle cover.**_

_**

* * *

**_

It was freezing cold as they exited the Lair – Leo had grabbed the blanket from the back of the sofa and slung it around Raph's shoulders to keep him warm. The others had quickly pulled on jackets. The group was silent as they walked to where Mikey's body was being kept until they took him to Casey's grandmother's farmhouse to bury him. It was just a short walk and they had arrived within a couple of minutes.

Leo opened the door – the room had probably once been used for storing maintenance equipment, but had long since been abandoned. It was warmly lit with numerous candles, surrounding the plain wooden coffin that stood in the centre of the small space. A framed photograph of the orange-masked turtle had been placed on top of it, along with a small bunch of flowers.

Grabbing a wooden chair from the corner of the room, Donny indicated that Raph should sit, but the red-banded turtle shook his head. He slowly stepped towards the casket. The others looked on in silence, tears slowly starting to be shed. When Raph reached the coffin, he simply stared down at it. Somewhere in the back of his head, he hoped this was all some elaborate prank, and that at any moment the prankster would burst through the lid yelling, "Gotcha, Raphie-boy!". But he knew that was a false hope, and that situation was all too real. And he was responsible.

"Can I – can I see him?" His voice was uncharacteristically shaky and quiet. A look of shock passed over the others faces, and Leo was about to respond when Master Splinter motioned for him to be quiet.

"Of course you may, my son. Leonardo, Donatello, would you please open the casket?"

"But sensei –"

"My sons, please do as I ask."

With shaking hands, Donny and Leo removed the lid. Raph simply stared down as the face of his youngest brother was revealed. His face was peaceful – an expression that looked too wrong on the jokester's face. Mikey had always been playful, hyper, excited, etc – but never _peaceful_. If you didn't know better, it almost looked like he was sleeping.

"Where's 'is mask?" Raph suddenly asked.

"Well, I…that is, erm, we…." Leo fumbled for something to say.

"He needs 'is mask! He always wore 'is mask! He hardly ever took it off! Put 'is mask on 'im now!" Raph was yelling now, but had still not shed any tears. Leo shot the others a panicked look, silently asking them for help.

"Donatello, would you please fetch Michelangelo's mask?" Master Splinter worded this as a request, but the tone was commanding. With only slight hesitation, Donny ran back to the Lair to carry out his father's request. Master Splinter stepped towards Raph and put a soothing paw on his arm,

"There, now, Raphael. Donatello is bringing Michelangelo's mask, and we shall put it on him. Do not worry, please be calm now, my son." The red-masked turtle took a couple of deep, shaky breaths, forcing himself to calm down. Donny was back within a couple of minutes, holding the scrap of orange cloth in his hands.

"Sensei, since you gave us these originally, would you, er, put it on him, please?" The old rat took the mask from Donny, and carefully put it on his youngest son. He then swiftly exited the room, and went back to his chamber.

Raph's eyes had never left his baby brother's face. Now that the mask was back on, it suddenly seemed to sink in that Mikey was actually gone. Never again would he see that trade-mark grin, or the playful light in those baby blue eyes, the ones that could also be used in a puppy-dog expression that no one could resist giving into. Never again would Raph fall victim to one of Mikey's numerous pranks, or be the butt of one of his jokes, or have another fight with him over which movie to watch. And never again would he hear the sound of Mikey's laughter echoing throughout the Lair, or the sounds of his cheering or cursing depending on the outcome of his video game. Suddenly, all at once, the impact of it all came crashing down on the red-masked turtle. And at last, the tears came.

At first, they came slowly. But as the realisation dawned, the tears fell faster, and sobs soon wracked his body. He couldn't breathe, all he could feel was the pain in his chest as his world fell apart. He collapsed to the floor, his entire body shaking. At first, all the others could do was watch in horror as the usually tough mutant fell apart before their eyes. April quickly turned away, burying her face in Casey's chest, as he wrapped his muscular arms around her protectively. Leo was the first to shake himself to action, and rushed to Raph's side.

Raph was still shaking violently, and appeared to be having trouble breathing. Leo held him in a tight embrace, muttering soothing words and gently rubbing his shell, but it didn't seem to be working.

"Donny, I think something's wrong with him!" The purple-masked turtle knelt down and did a quick examination.

"He's having a panic attack – he used to get them a lot. Don't worry, just keep talking to him, and doing what you're doing, and he'll be fine in a minute. But it's probably best that we get him back to the Lair soon – he really needs to rest." Leo was shocked - he'd never known about Raph's panic attacks. He felt guilty for his ignorance. The terrifying attack was over within minutes, as Donny had said it would be. Raph slumped in Leo's arms, completely exhausted, both physically and emotionally. The blue-masked turtle gently lifted him up and took him back to the Lair, accompanied by April, while Donny and Casey replaced the lid of the coffin.

Soon, Raph was sleeping restlessly on the infirmary bed. He kept mumbling, most of the time the words were incomprehensible, but a few were clear, "My fault….let you down….sorry….sleeping….wish it was me….don't leave me here alone…." He was still running a fever, and had developed a cough, and Donny prayed that his brother wasn't developing pneumonia.

* * *

The next day, while Raph was still sleeping, the others all gathered in the main room.

"We need to talk about what we're going to do with Mikey's b… with Mikey."

"I thought you guys were planning on burying him up at the farmhouse?" April said.

"If that's okay with you, Casey?" Leo asked, realising that they had never actually asked permission.

"C'mon Leo, d'ya even need ta ask me that? 'Course its alright w' me – you guys are family."

"So, now we need to figure out when. He can't stay in that storage room forever."

"Of course not, my son, Michelangelo deserves a proper burial, surrounded by his family and friends."

"How long before Raph'll be well enough to make the trip, Don?"

"Well, I –"

"Raph's fit enough now." All eyes swivelled in surprise to the infirmary door, where Raph was leaning against the door frame, arms crossed over his plastron.

"But Raph –"

"I'm alright! When do we leave?"

"Raph, I really don't think –"

"No, Don, its okay. If Raph says he can do it, we'll just have to trust in his judgement. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?" Donny's silence was not reassuring, but Leo continued anyway, "So, shall we say we leave tomorrow morning? That gives us today to get everything ready. Are we all in agreement?" Everyone was, although Donny still did not look too happy about it. Leo started divvying up the tasks amongst everyone, but left Raph out. Soon it was just the two of them left in the room.

"Whaddya want me to do, Leo?" Raph asked – he was still in the infirmary doorway, attempting to make it look like he was leaning casually on the doorframe, when actually it was pretty much the only thing keeping him upright. Leo saw through this straight away, but kept it to himself.

"I want you to stay in bed and rest – tomorrow's going to be a tough day for everyone, so you'll need your strength."

"But Leo, I want to help –"

"And you will be helping us. None of us want you to get sick, so please Raph, just rest, okay? If you want, I'll even let you rest out here by the TV."

"Alright, Fearless, I'll rest. But can I at least have a shower first?"

The blue-masked turtle nodded, "Sure – you need a hand getting up the stairs?"

"Nah, I can do it." He pushed himself off the doorway and took a few slow, shaky steps towards the stairway. Leo simply watched. As Raph stumbled at the bottom of the stairway, Leo dashed over and helped support him. Before Raph could say anything Leo said,

"Yeah, Raph, I know you don't need my help. But I'm your brother, and I'm not going to let you fall, okay? Just let me help you – I promise I won't tell anyone." Raph nodded slightly.

"But I draw the line at you coming into the shower with me."

* * *

Early the next morning, everyone was gathered together. Much to Raph's annoyance, both Leo and Donny had gone overboard in ensuring he was all bundled up, and Donny had insisted on taking a full medical kit 'just in case'. The Battle-Shell was prepped and ready to go. Casey and April were to follow in their truck, and it too was already loaded up. All that remained was to load the casket.

It had been decided, after much deliberation, that it should go in the Battle-Shell, rather than on the back of Casey's pick-up. Raph had insisted on helping carry it, despite the others misgivings about whether he was in good enough condition to handle the physical strain. So now the sad little procession was leaving the Lair – Raph, Leo, Donny and Casey carrying the coffin, with April and Master Splinter following along behind. All wore black armbands, but were wearing brightly coloured clothes, because they knew that was exactly how Mikey would have wanted it.

As they carefully set Mikey into the back of the Battle Shell, Raph suffered a coughing fit. As he pulled his hand away, he noticed a splotch of red on it. He stared at in horror – even he knew that coughing up blood was a bad thing.

"Hey Raph, you okay?"

Quickly wiping his hand he replied, "'Course I am. We gonna hurry up and leave already?" And with that he climbed up into the Battle-Shell. Leo and Donny looked at each other and shrugged, before following him.

* * *

The journey to the farmhouse seemed to last an eternity – none of them could ever remember the journey taking this long before. Raph was silent the whole way, simply staring at the wooden box that held their youngest brother. Leo was deeply concerned – no way could it be healthy for Raph to be sitting there like that. He had asked him if he'd prefer to sit in the front, but the hot-headed turtle had gruffly replied, "no way am I gonna leave him now, bro."

They finally reached their destination, each feeling a mixture of relief and dread: relief that the awkward journey was now over, but dreading the moment when they'd have to put Mikey in the ground. For Raph, he wished they'd never arrived – he'd have been happy for them to drive on forever.

The red-masked turtle must have blacked out or something, because the next thing he knew he was standing with the others at the grave side, looking down into the hole at the wooden coffin that held the earthly remains of his beloved baby brother. Leo was stood close to him, ready to support him if necessary. Donny was saying a few words, but somehow Raph could not take in what was being said. Suddenly, panic gripped Raph,

"Leo, I – I dunno what to say." He spoke in a low voice, so only Leo could hear.

"What do you mean, Raph?"

"I mean, I ain't got no fancy speech like Donny-boy over there. But I feel like I gotta do somethin' or say somethin', y'know?"

Leo simply nodded. "I get what you're saying, Raph, but to be honest, I think you've already done it."

"What're ya talkin' 'bout?"

"Well, digging the grave all by yourself. It must've taken a lot out of you, and it couldn't have been an easy thing for you to do."

"I dug it?"

"Yeah. We all offered to help but you insisted on doing it alone. Typical stubborn Raph, always refusing help."

"Wait, so you're saying I dug the grave alone? All of it, the whole thing?"

Leo looked both confused and worried, "Raph, you're scaring me. Do you seriously not remember doing it?"

Raph quickly tried to cover himself, "Don't be stupid, Leo, 'course I remember. I just –"

Just then, Donny finished speaking, and it was silent. He felt everyone look at him.

"Raphael, my son, did you have anything you wished to say?"

Raph's mouth went dry. "I – erm…."

"It is alright, my son, do not worry – if you do not wish to speak, that is fine."

"No sensei, I, uh, I do wanna say somethin'." Raph stepped forward, and slowly started speaking,

"Well, you all know I ain't much good at givin' speeches – shell, I don' even talk much unless I got somethin' ta say. So I'm gonna keep this thing short. Mikey was my little brother, and one o' my best friends. Sure he used to piss me off, but that's what brothers do, ain't it? And although at the time I used to curse 'im for pullin' all those pranks on me, I'd also secretly be so happy that I was the one he'd picked to pull 'em on, cos it felt like I was part of somethin' amazing. And all those times he laughed when the prank worked or he'd joked about me, well even though I was mad at 'im, I still felt like I was part o' somethin' special. Cos makin' Mikey laugh was the sweetest job in the world. Hearing that infectious sound, and knowing you'd been part o' makin' it happen, man, it was…I don' even know how to describe it. I was so proud to be his brother – I'm still proud to be his brother. I'll always love ya, bro, and I'm gonna miss ya like crazy. And if there really is an afterlife, I hope we meet again in it – so ya'd betta start plannin' a few pranks, huh? Sleep well, bro." Tears were coursing down his cheeks, but he made no effort to hide them or wipe them away. Everyone else was crying now too.

After they had filled in the grave, April approached Raph, who was standing apart from the others, and hugged him tightly. "That was a beautiful speech, Raph."

"Thanks, April."

"You ever thought of writing some of your thoughts down, because I think you'd be capable of writing poetry."

Raph chuckled quietly, "Me, writing poetry? Imagine the jokes Mikey would've made about that. Shell, if he was here now, he'd've been laughin' his head off at that speech."

"Well, Mikey wasn't exactly what you'd call 'mature', was he?"

"You kiddin' me, the guy still played with dolls – er, I mean, '_action figures'_." He spoke the last bit with emphasis, and made an air quote gesture. April and Raph laughed quietly, thinking fondly of Mikey and his quirks.

Leo was standing a few feet away, with Donny and Master Splinter. He was pretending to listen to what they were saying, but was instead eavesdropping on April and Raph. He smiled a little as he heard them laughing – maybe everything was going to be alright after all.

* * *

_**Nope, that's not the end. As if I could possibly leave it there – we still haven't seen the full emotional impact on Raph. Or did you think that was it? Well I can assure you it wasn't, and it looks like the next chapter is set to be very depressing, if what I've written down so far is anything to go by.**_

_**I still haven't decided how this fic is gonna end, or even if it's gonna be happy or sad. So I guess we'll all just have to wait and see what happens. lol**_

_**As always, reviews are very much appreciated, even if it's just one word! :D**_

_**xxx**_


	5. Part 5

_**Oh. My. Goodness. I cannot believe how long it's been since I last updated this. But I guess that's what happens when life gets in the way, huh?**_

_**I've had part of this sitting on my laptop for a while, but I've never been completely satisfied with it. To be honest, I'm still not 100% happy, but I think this is as good as it's gonna get. Hopefully it's not too bad. **_

_**DISCLAIMER: I still don't own them. Damn Nickelodeon! ;)**_

…o0o…

It was decided that they would all remain in Northampton, MA for awhile after the funeral – after all, as April said, it wasn't as if any of them had any reason to hurry back to NYC. The store could stay closed for a few more days, and neither Casey nor the turtles were employed.

Raph seemed to be coming to terms with the loss of his brother – in fact, Leo worried that he appeared to be coping too well. Donny was also concerned about their red-masked brother, but for a different reason – he had heard Raph's cough getting progressively worse. He had attempted to talk to him about it, but Raph had brushed aside his concerns, telling him that it was a cold, nothing more.

One morning, they awoke to find there had been heavy snow in the night.

"I hope this snow lets up soon – we don't want to be snowed in."

"C'mon, Don, its not as if we have families or jobs to get back to, is it?" Leo chuckled, handing Donny a steaming mug of coffee, which was gratefully accepted.

"I guess not. But still, we can't avoid going home forever, you know."

"Yeah, I know. Hey Don, have you noticed anything….strange…about Raph's behaviour?"

Panic gripped the turtle in the purple mask – he had tried to keep his suspicions about the severity of Raph's condition to himself to avoid worrying the others, "I – uh – what do you mean, Leo?" Playing dumb would buy him a few precious seconds to figure out what he was going to say.

"Well, he seems to be coping well with this whole thing. Maybe I should be glad that he's taking it so well, but I can't help but feel concerned that it's all an act – Raph's always been good at hiding his true emotions."

Donny sighed in relief – Leo was talking about Raph's emotional state, not his physical one. "I hadn't really thought about it – maybe, yeah. I guess we'll just have to see how it goes. Speaking of Raph, though, have you seen him this morning?"

"No, I just assumed he was sleeping in. Why, is something wrong?"

"Oh no, nothing's wrong. I might just go check on him, though."

"Erm….o-kay." And Leo was left alone in the kitchen, a bewildered expression on his face.

…o0o…

Donny climbed the wooden staircase quietly –if Raph was asleep, he didn't want to wake him up. Waking Raph up was a dangerous task, and only to be attempted in a dire emergency. Using all of his ninja stealth skills to avoid making the wooden floor creak, he crept into the room – and gasped. Because Raph wasn't there. He felt the bed sheets – they were cold, and it looked like it had been a few hours since Raph had been here. It felt like an icy fist had clenched itself around his heart, and an overwhelming sense of dread washed over him. He looked out of the window at the freshly fallen blanket of white – he knew exactly where Raph was.

Sprinting down the stairs, he threw a jacket at Leo and quickly pulled one on himself.

"Don, what the shell is going on?"

"Raph wasn't asleep. And it looks like his bed's been empty for awhile."

Realisation dawned on Leo, "Dammit Raph!" And he bolted out of the door, still pulling his jacket on, with Donny quickly in pursuit.

The gravesite was a few minutes walk from the farmhouse, so their sprinting speed allowed them to reach it within just a couple of minutes. And there, as expected, was Raph. He was leaning against the newly erected headstone. Donny was relieved to see that he had been sensible enough to wear a jacket, but it wouldn't be doing much good now if he had been out for a few hours.

Leo knelt down next to his brother – his heavy breathing indicated that he was sleeping. He gently shook him, "Raph. C'mon, Raph, wake up. Raph!" He turned to ask Donny to help him, but his purple-masked sibling was examining something in the snow close to Raph, and the expression on his face worried Leo. Temporarily leaving Raph, Leo joined Donny – there were red splotches spoiling the otherwise pure white that coated everything.

"Is – is that…_blood_?" Donny simply nodded in response. "He must've cut himself on something – we'll have to check him over when we get back to the farmhouse."

Donny shook his head, and replied quietly, "He hasn't cut himself."

Leo was trying to lift Raph up without causing them both to slip and fall over in the snow, but paused at Donny's words. He looked confused, and started "Then where –"

As if on cue, a coughing fit wracked Raph's body, and a trickle of crimson came from between Raph's lips. Leo stared at it in horror, his face going pale. He pulled a tissue from his pocket, and wiped the blood away with a shaking hand. His skin felt hot to the touch, despite the freezing outside temperature, and Leo could now see the slight sheen of sweat on Raph's brow.

"Don! Help me get him inside, now!" They would worry about explanations later, for now they had to get Raph sorted. Donny went on the opposite side and together the two turtles took their sick brother inside.

…o0o…

It was soon a hive of activity inside the farmhouse – April was searching the phonebook for the local doctor or hospital, hoping that one of them would have the necessary antibiotics. Donny was doing his best with the little knowledge and equipment he had at his disposal – Leo was attempting to bring the fever down by sponging Raph with warm water, while Donny was pumping fluids into him via an IV.

"Okay, Donny, the local hospital reckons it is pneumonia, based on the symptoms we've described, and that it sounds severe. They'd rather we could get him to hospital, but due to the snow, the roads are too bad for them to send an ambulance, and moving him is risky anyway. They said they'll get to us as soon as possible, but for now just to keep him warm, keep him hydrated, and to control his pain with ibuprofen or aspirin."

"And the antibiotics?"

"They've told me which type, but we can't get it from them. Not by legal means, anyway."

"April, what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that we're gonna get Raph what he needs. No matter what it takes. CASEY!"

"Ready to go, babe?" Casey came into the room, all ready to leave. April nodded, and soon the roar of the truck had died away, leaving them all in silence, the only sound being that of Raph's laboured breathing.

Minutes ticked by slowly – each one seeming to last an hour. Raph slipped in and out of consciousness, but even when he was awake he seemed unaware of what was going on.

"Raph, do you need anything?" Leo knew he wasn't going to get an answer, but somehow he had to talk to him, say something, anything to break the awful silence. "Are you in any pain?"

"H-h-…"

Leo was startled – could it be that Raph was trying to say something? He leaned closer.

"H-hurts…breathe….drowning…"

"Donny!"

"How's he doing, Leo?" Donny came back into the room quickly, carrying a tray with a couple of steaming mugs and a few snacks on it.

"He says it hurts when he breathes, and something about drowning?"

"Well, pneumonia is an infection that causes fluid to build up in the lungs, so it's only to be expected. I'll give him some more painkillers, and that'll make him more comfortable." Donny administered more pain relief through the IV - Raph appeared to be unconscious once again.

At last, April and Casey returned. She burst through the door, clutching the precious vials of antibiotics, and a bulging duffel bag slung over her shoulder. Casey struggled through the door a couple of minutes later, carrying a few oxygen bottles.

"Woah, guys, when you go on a mission, you really go the whole way, don't ya?" Leo managed a small smile, which April returned.

"Well, dis stuff was just sat in the hospital supply room, doin' nuthin'. An' if my pal needs somethin', he ain't gonna have to go wi'out, not if Casey Jones can help it!" Casey declared proudly. April let out a soft 'ahem', and shot him a look, so he quickly added, "An' you, o'course, babe, I couldn' a done it wi'out ya."

Donny took a bottle from April and quickly administered the antibiotics intravenously. April began unpacking the duffel bag, pulling out saline packs and other medical supplies. Leo took one of the oxygen canisters from Casey,

"Don, you got the mask in your medical kit?" Donny had created a special oxygen mask for them, because the design of human ones was impractical for their facial shape.

"Yeah, back in a sec."

Raph was now hooked up to oxygen, an IV, and a monitor.

"And now we wait. I expect his fever to reach crisis point sometime tonight, so these next few hours will be crucial."

_A few hours later…._

"Hot…too hot…" Raph was mumbling, now sweating profusely. He attempted to push the blankets off himself, but Leo stopped him.

"Actually, Leo, it's alright. April, can you hand me that sheet?" He pulled the heavy blankets off Raph, and covered him with the light sheet instead. "The fever's reaching crisis point – if we can get him through this part, he should be alright." Leo continued sponging his burning skin with the warm water. Suddenly, Raph opened his eyes – something he hadn't done for hours.

"Raph?"

"M-Mikey?"

"No, Raph, it's me – it's Leo."

"Mikey!"

Leo looked at Donny in confusion, "He's delirious – it's an effect of the fever. It also means it's more serious than I thought. At this point, things could go either way."

"Donatello, my son, what are you saying?"

"Well, sensei, I mean that…." Donny broke off, unable to finish his sentence.

"….Raph could die," April finished quietly, hating herself for voicing those words.

Meanwhile, Raph still appeared to be conscious, but it was obvious he hadn't heard anything that was being said, and didn't even seem to know what was going on around him. Instead, his eyes were focused somewhere far away, and he smiled. An actual, genuine smile. A tear ran down his cheek, and he whispered, "Mikey."

Then, without warning, he slumped, eyes rolling back, and the monitor let out one long continuous _bleeeeeeeeep_.

"No! Raph!"

…o0o…

Raph opened his eyes and groaned. He was surrounded by bright white light, but despite not knowing where he was, or what was happening, he felt safe. And he felt a new feeling, one that could only be described as…peace – for probably the first time in his life, Raph felt _peaceful_.

"Dude! What the heck are you doin' here, Raphie-boy?"

Raph leapt to his feet and the two turtles hugged each other tightly. "Mikey!"

"In the flesh, bro – ah, poor choice of words there." The two brothers laughed – it felt like old times. How things had been before…

"So this is what it's like ta be dead, huh? I gotta admit, I'm a bit disappointed."

"Nah, dude, this is just, like, the foyer. The waiting room. Limbo. You get the idea."

"So, what happens now?"

"Now you go back, dude." Mikey said, with a sad smile.

"What? Mikey, I'm dead. I couldn' go back, even if I wanted ta."

"Let me show ya something, bro." Mikey snapped his fingers, and something that resembled a TV screen appeared.

"Honestly, Mikey, I come all this way just for ya to make me watch some dumb TV show?" Raph folded his arms across his plastron, clearly unimpressed.

"Har-de-har-har, Raph, very funny. Just watch, okay?"

The screen came to life, and the scene Raph saw made his heart clench. Because Mikey was showing him what was currently happening back at the farmhouse – he saw his own corpse, with Donny desperately attempting to revive him, and Leo simply watching, shell-shocked at the events taking place. April was sobbing uncontrollably in Casey's arms, and his best friend was clearly struggling to hold back his own tears. Master Splinter was sat in silence, eyes closed, looking as if he had aged several years within just a few minutes. Raph turned his face away, not wishing to see anymore, and the screen disappeared once again.

"It's not your time yet, Raphie-boy."

"But Mikey – I miss ya like hell, bro. It's just not the same without ya around."

"I miss you too, Raph. But they need you right now. Please try to live for me, just try, okay?" Mikey's baby-blue eyes were glistening with tears.

"Alright, I'll try." Now Raph felt tears pricking his own eyes.

"And I'll be right here, waiting for you, when your time does come. I'll wait forever, if necessary. So, until we meet again, bro." The two embraced tightly once again. "I love ya, Raphie-boy."

"Love ya too, Mikey." And then both were engulfed in a blinding white light.

…o0o…

"No, Raph, don't you dare do this to us!" Leo was now yelling at his brother, as Donny continued CPR. "Dammit, Raph, just breathe!"

Suddenly, the heart monitor began bleeping again, and Raph took in a few gasping breaths, which quickly lead to a bout of coughing.

"Shell, Raph, don't you ever do that to us again, you hear me?"

"I saw Mikey! I saw 'im, guys!"

"No Raph, you must've been dreaming."

"No, it was really him." Then, exhausted, he fell into a deep sleep, with a genuine smile on his face.

The others looked at each other in awe. Then Donny broke the silence when he announced, "Guys, the fever's going down. I think he's going to be okay."

…o0o…

_**And please stay tuned for the Epilogue, which should be posted by the time you read this.**_

_**Thank you for reading! :)**_


	6. Part 6 Epilogue

_**And finally, here it is – the last part of this fanfic.**_

_**It has definitely been an emotional journey – but the ride isn't over just yet ;) **_

_**I'd like to thank everyone who has read, favourite, reviewed, and stuck with this fic – you are all awesome! :D**_

_**DISCLAIMER: Raph and the gang still don't belong to me **_

…o0o…

It had been almost two years since Mikey's death, and life had continued, as it always does. Of course, they all thought about their brother everyday, but each had learned to cope with the loss in their own way.

Even Raph seemed to be doing well. Of course, the bout of pneumonia had been severe, and Donny said it had left his lungs and immune system permanently weakened, so even a slight cold had to be kept closely monitored. But emotionally, he appeared to be healing. There were still some nights, however now occurring less and less often, that he would wake up screaming after enduring some nightmare about that awful event and the days that followed, but this was only to be expected after such a traumatic experience.

"I can't believe it's almost two years," Leo said to Donny in the kitchen as he prepared breakfast.

"Me neither. It doesn't feel that long."

"I wanted to ask, how do you think Raph's coping?"

"Why not ask him yerself." Raph stepped into the kitchen. The other two could tell he hadn't slept very well.

"Er, sure. How are you, Raph?"

"M'fine."

"And you'd tell us if anything was wrong, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, keep ya shell on, Fearless." He smirked at his older brother. "Why don't ya just concentrate on yer cookin' – I'd rather not have my food 'well-done' again." He chuckled, earning smiles from his two brothers.

…o0o…

Later that day, they were all planning the trip to the farmhouse.

"Achoo!" Raph shivered slightly.

They all looked at him with concern.

"My son, are you alright?"

"M'fine, Master Splinter, this place is just a lil dusty, that's all."

"You sure, I? I could always check you over, just in case –"

"Don' be silly, Donny-boy, there's nothin' wrong wi' me. I'm just tired, so I'm gonna turn in."

"Okay then," Donny seemed reluctant to let him leave, but Leo signalled that he would follow Raph and get to the bottom of this.

As Raph walked into his room, he knew Leo was following him.

"Yeah, Leo, whassup?"

"I just thought you might want to talk."

"About what?"

"I dunno – everything. Anything. Just tell me what you're thinking, what you're feeling."

"Ya really wanna know?" He looked at Leo, who simply nodded in response. "Okay, but remember ya asked fer this." He took a deep breath, as if bracing himself. "I have nightmares, ev'ry night lately, of what happened. I still expect ta see 'im, sittin' there playin' his video games, or hear that annoyin' laugh o' is. I still check when I open doors, in case there's a bucket of goop, or some other prank I'm gonna walk into. And ev'ry time I remember that those things ain't gonna happen, I'm reminded that it's my fault. I feel nothin' else, 'cept the guilt. I can't even cry anymore – I ain't got no tears left."

Leo was stunned. He had thought – they'd all thought Raph was getting over this. But obviously they'd all been wrong…_he'd _been wrong. His brother had been suffering, alone, all this time. Now it was Leo's turn to feel guilty.

"Raph, I –"

"Save it, Leo. I'm not up fer a pity party or guilt party or whateva right now. Just leave me alone."

Leo sighed, knowing that there was no arguing with Raph, especially in this mood. "Fine. But you know where I am if you want to talk. G'night Raph."

"Yeah, 'night."

He felt Raph close the door behind him, and leaned his shell up against it, unaware that Raph was doing the same on the other side.

…o0o…

The next morning, everyone was awake early, gathering together the last few items that needed to be loaded onto the van.

"Hey, has anyone seen Raph? We have to leave soon!"

"Sorry, Leo, I haven't seen him this morning. Maybe he's overslept?" Donny suggested as he ran around putting things in his duffel bag.

Leo nodded at him, and headed off to Raph's room. The door was still closed, so he knocked before entering.

"Hey Raph, you'd better get up. We have to leave in –" But when he opened the door he realised Raph was not there. _Where is he? _Leo thought to himself.

He came back downstairs. "Donny, he wasn't in his room."

"Well that's odd. Maybe he went over to Casey and April's?"

Leo did think this likely, but called their human friends anyway. But they hadn't seen or heard from Raph either. They were all beginning to get worried now – Leo had given them a vague summary of what he had said to him the night before.

"Donny, where is he?"

"I don't know, Leo – I've checked the Lair."

"You don't think he'd –"

"Well, Leo, this is Raph we're talking about –"

"Okay, I'm gonna go topside. Can you see if you can figure out where he is using the tracking device on the shell cells?"

"I'm on it!"

Leo took the elevator that lead into the garage. He was about to open the door to the street, when he realised something was missing. The Shell Cycle!

He quickly dialled Donny's number – "Donny, we have a problem. Raph's taken the Shell-Cycle."

"Yeah, Leo, I was just about to call you. I've just got the tracking system up – I know where he's going."

"Do I even need to ask?"

"The farmhouse."

"No surprises there. How far away is he?"

"Well, he's going at way over the speed limit, and he's got quite a head start on us-"

"Don, just answer me!"

"He's almost there, Leo. His ETA is around 30 minutes."

"30 minutes? How fast is he going? It takes us a few hours to get there, doesn't it?"

"Give or take, yeah. But we don't know how long he's been gone –"

"Don, he couldn't have left more than an hour ago. He's in for a huge lecture on speeding when I get hold of him, but for now let's just concentrate on getting after him. How soon can you be ready?"

"Say, 10 minutes?"

"You have 5."

…o0o…

"Okay, he's arrived safely at the farmhouse."

"Well thank goodness for that – of course, it's still gonna take us at least another two hours to get there. Let's just hope he doesn't do anything stupid."

"What do you mean, Leo?"

"Nothing. Forget I mentioned it. Can you tell exactly where he is on that thing?"

"Well, if I tweak the settings a bit, zoom in, focus in on the area of the farmhouse…. Aww shell! Leo, ya might wanna put your foot on the accelerator."

"What, why?"

"Because it looked like Raph was heading to Mikey's grave, and his shell-cell just went off."

"But I thought the tracking device had back-up batteries, so even if the shell-cell dies, it stays active?"

"Exactly – the only way to turn off the tracker…"

"…is to destroy the shell-cell completely. Damn it!" Leo floored the gas pedal, praying that Raph wasn't going to do what he thought he was gonna do.

…o0o…

At the farmhouse, Raph was approaching Mikey's grave. It was still freezing cold, but he had removed his jacket, leaving his body unprotected. He fell to his knees beside his youngest brother.

"I'm sorry, Mikey. I'm so, so sorry. I know I let ya down. I should've done somethin' – anythin'. If I'd been a better brother, ya wouldn' be where ya are now. It should've been me. I shoulda been the one ta – ta die. But I let ya slip away from me – I let ya go. D'ya remember when we were kids, an' we said we'd always be together? Well look at us now. I was blamin' you at first, fer leavin' me here alone. But the truth is, I'm the one ta blame. Cos I let you die. I'm the reason ya left. So we're both alone. Yer dead, and alone in yer grave. I'm alone, and pretendin' I'm not already in mine. Cos the truth is, when I felt you slip away, you took part o' me with you. I've been a dead man walkin'; my body's been actin' as if I'm still alive, but I know I'm already in hell. So now it's time my body joined my heart and soul in death."

He laid down on top of the grave, the icy snow cooling his burning skin, gradually making him numb. A bout of coughing wracked his body, and a few flecks of blood fell onto the snow. He stared at it as he gradually began to fall into unconsciousness, feeling guilty at spoiling its purity. He felt warmth gradually spreading through his body, and as his eyes closed, the darkness was replaced with a familiar blinding light, and that wonderful peaceful feeling.

"Welcome home, Raphie-boy."

…o0o…

_**And there you have it, this fic has come to an end.**_

_**Please leave a review, no matter how big or small, to let me know what you thought.**_

_**Once again, thank you for reading – your support has been amazing. I hope to see you all again in the near future.**_

_**Bye for now! :)**_


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